Leadership is a lonely business!

Did you know, that 61% of business leaders report feeling lonely in their roles? (Harvard Business Review).

I don't know about you, but a common comment I hear from other business leaders is, "I find it quite lonely, I've no one to share this stuff with and I certainly can't take it home".

I'm sure, like myself, when you first started in your first true leadership role and/or you started your own business, you were initially excited about the journey ahead. However, as the business grew, and time passed, you found yourself increasingly isolated, with no one to share the challenges and triumphs with.

In my latest blog post, I explore the often-overlooked loneliness that comes with leadership and business ownership. But more importantly, I'll share below how obtaining a mentor, can provide the 1-2-1 support and guidance necessary for your own personal and professional growth.

First some background.

A study by Forbes revealed, "That loneliness among leaders can lead to significant negative impacts, including reduced enjoyment, increased tension, and a loss of empathy."

Research also indicates that "50% of CEOs experience feelings of loneliness, and 61% believe it hinders their performance" and "If we look at the CEOs as a workforce, over 30% would have a performance issue as a result of loneliness".

Therefore, loneliness in leadership is not just a personal issue, it can affect organisational productivity and your own and other employee's wellbeing too.

My Personal Story,

After a successful stint as a Sales Director, in Jan 2012 I was promoted to Operations (After Sales) Director covering 12 separate cost centres across the North of England & Scotland, a big step up for me in responsibility.

My previous leadership role as Sales Director, the working environment had been an open plan office, surrounded by the majority of the Regional Sales Team, and Sales being Sales – it was mainly always a positive environment, with a bit of a laugh and fun with the team now and again.

I remember to this day being led to my new office by the MD and this should have been an omen. At the Regional HQ, the After Sales Directors office was upstairs, turn left along a corridor, through a security access door. To be honest from then on, nobody every passed my door, I was cut off literally and no one ever popped their head in, to check how I was, or asked if I wanted a cuppa tea!

I purposely had to make an effort, set up meetings and make appointments to engage with my team who were dispersed across what was a large regional area. And with it being After Sales, every call was a distress call!

Despite my previous achievements and with the challenges in the new role, over time I found it difficult to share my struggles with friends and family who didn't understand the pressures of running a large and stretched After Sales department with circa 300 staff.

After 18mths, I came to the conclusion, the role wasn't for me. The structure I inherited wasn't effective and there wasn't the necessary support either. Therefore, I agreed to step down and move back to my comfort zone, within the Sales Department as a Key Account Manager, reporting directly to one of my previous team. However, this was when I decided, corporate life was no longer for me too. As the higher you go, you realise it's a numbers game (£'s) and there's also a lot further to fall"

Looking back now however, I wish I knew what I know today and had reached out for some 1-2-1- support through a "Mentor" and a "Coach" in those early days of the Op's Directors role.

So, if you find yourself in the same position today, I believe the first step to securing your own future and personal wellbeing and health is to find yourself a Mentor and if necessary a Coach too.

Mentorship - 6 steps to explore, before asking just anyone to be your mentor.

1. Identify Your Own Needs.

Determine what areas you need guidance in, whether it's strategic business planning, financial management, or personal development, which could even be building your own personal confidence, when in front of others, if you're new into a leadership role.

2. Research for Potential Mentors.

Look both inside or outside your industry for individuals who have had the experiences and success, you envisage for yourself. LinkedIn is a good place to start, but also attend your industry sector conferences, and professional associations can be great places too.

Also take your time to find the right match, set up "discovery calls/chats" with a few potential Mentors, before choosing.

3. Network Actively. A tip I wish I knew about 13 years ago.

Just get out there - attend industry events, join online forums, explore and participate in local business groups to meet potential mentors.

4. Ensure you are Clear and Respectful.

When approaching a potential mentor be respectful of other people's time. Explain why you think they would be a good fit and how you hope to benefit from their guidance. Plus explore and find out what they want out of the experience too.

5. Start by Building a Relationship.

Remember, Mentorship is a two-way process. Show genuine interest in your mentor's experiences and insights and be open to feedback, (both positive and constructive).

I've mentored over 15 business leaders 1-2-1 over the last few years, I personally get so much reward myself out of the mentor/mentee relationship process.

6. Leverage your Existing Networks.

Sometimes the best mentors are found within your existing network. Reach out to colleagues, former bosses, or industry sector peers who you personally respect and admire.

Here's some examples of famous mentorships.

Steve Jobs mentored Mark Zuckerberg, offering guidance on managing and developing Facebook. Their relationship included walks around Palo Alto discussing entrepreneurship.

Mark Zuckerberg once said, "Steve was a mentor and friend. He understood the importance of connecting people and building a community."

Warren Buffett has been Bill Gates mentor for years providing advice on various subjects. Bill Gates has referred to Warren Buffett as a one-of-a-kind mentor quoting,

"Warren has been a mentor to me. His advice on business and philanthropy has been invaluable."

Yves Saint-Laurent was mentored by Christian Dior, where he shared the secrets of haute couture and how to run a fashion house.

Dr. Dre mentored Eminem, helping him navigate the complexities of the music business and develop his unique style. Eminem shared "Dr. Dre believed in me when no one else did. He was more than a mentor; he was a friend and guide too."

As a side note; I love Eminem's music and the song "Forget about Dre" by Eminem, Dr. Dre ft. Hittman.

Larry Page, co-founder of Google, mentored Sundar Pichai, who eventually became the CEO of Google, guiding him through strategic decisions and leadership challenges.

So, 

"Take Care of Yourself!" 

"Never forget you're responsible for running a company, business or department and it's important to take care of yourself first." - Wendy Lea, CEO at Cintrifuse.

Finding a Balance, is Key!

"The key to happiness is all about balance—a combination between fun and loving life in all forms, while being successful at the same time." - Richard Branson.

If you have time over the holiday period, a book/audiobook I highly recommended on mentorship and coaching. "The Coaching Habit" - "Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever" by Michael Bungay Stanier, which focuses on coaching techniques that can be highly beneficial in a mentoring context.

If you wish to catch up over a coffee, have a chat and either share your experience on mentorship or explore what the specific 1-2-1 personal support you require as a leader today, do just reach out!

Author; Peter Fleming (150425)

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